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Little Audio Sparkler and the Slightly Scary Gentlemen of Rock

from An Impressionist's Thumb by Monkey Typing Pool

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about

My friend Brian (who wrote most of this song's lyrics) and I were indulging in one of those online time-wasters...in this case, "ruin a band by cutting it down to size": Superchunk becomes just Chunk (I know...), the Mighty Mighty Bosstones become the So-So So-So Administrative Assistant Tones, and so on.

In the end, though, this is clearly a parable about the interplay between the Protestant Reformation and post-Civil War Reconstruction, as interpreted by Michel Foucault after too much cocaine.

lyrics

They were sprung unto the world as good and gracious spheres of gentle warm.
Their height and mass did not exceed two standard deviations o’er the norm.
They want to rock’n’roll till 2 a.m.—it’s notarized on these here forms.
They’re more popular than that guy where, in his father’s house, are cramped and tiny dorms.

They’ll only catch the slower rabbits, but they’ll surround and firmly nudge your clock.
They’re Little Audio Sparkler and the Slightly Scary Gentlemen of Rock.

They were born to trot and jog, to go unshaved, and join in fun disorder.
Their school was out for weeks when its librarian found cracks and weakened mortar.
They party like it’s 1953 in their maroon and rusted four-door.
Their angel drew the cartoon on page 47 of the newsstand’s new ‘New Yorker’.

The clock struck one, but glancingly, and missed the others, hick’ry dick’ry dock.
They’re Little Audio Sparkler and the Slightly Scary Gentlemen of Rock.

They’ve suffered napalm hamstring tears and scratchy fever they’re blaming on the drizzle.
Their velveteen ground-level semidetached apartment just got shelled by Viscount Missile.
(Ooh-ooh-ooh la-la, voulez-vous crochet?)
But if they don’t thrive (they’re staying alive),
(Survivront…)
they won’t lie down to drive (they’ll survive)
(Ne se couchent…)
or use the wrong fork and knive
(Mauvaise couteau…)
to eat Belgian endive.
(Manger endive…)

They’ll only catch the slower rabbits, but they’ll surround and firmly nudge your clock.
They’re not Me-First and the Please-Sir-May-I-Have-Some-Mores, or The Tallest Man on the Block.
They’re Little Audio Sparkler and the Slightly Scary Gentlemen of Rock.

credits

from An Impressionist's Thumb, released December 1, 2022

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Monkey Typing Pool Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Just one guy with minimal gear whose main goal is to produce songs that sound like things he wants to hear...which, for some reason, no one else has bothered recording yet.

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